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Mozenrath's Plan

 
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Princess Lydia
Elemental


Joined: 12 Nov 2004
Posts: 679

PostPosted: Sat Nov 13, 2004 11:08 pm    Post subject: Mozenrath's Plan Reply with quote

Does this sound like a good fanfic I am writting so far.

Aladdin and Jamine have a baby they name her Astar. She is a combanation of her father and mother. Everyone is happy. Little do the know at Mozenrath's Citadal a plan has been made to make this child be the key to Mozenrath's plan. Aladdin and Jasmine can't wait till there little girl is 16. Though they do not know what fate is instore them and her. Will they be able to rescue Astar, or does Mozenrath have plans for them too.

What do you think of it?

This is just a outline not the story. I hope it is going to be good when I am done with it!

This is my first fanfiction any suggestions?
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Princess Lydia
Elemental


Joined: 12 Nov 2004
Posts: 679

PostPosted: Fri Nov 19, 2004 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

any suggestions?
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Nez
Eccentric Papyrus Jockey


Joined: 07 Oct 2004
Posts: 2617
Location: Bellevue, Ne

PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2004 9:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try not making it a Mary-Sue fic. Then again, the age difference would be very far apart (Mozy=40 when Astar turns 16).
Scary.
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AladdinsGenie
Genie of the Messageboard


Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Posts: 11787
Location: Tennessee

PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2004 11:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It sorta sounds like a combination between The Little Mermaid and Sleeping Beauty. But yeah, just don't *make* it that combination, you know?
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Princess Lydia
Elemental


Joined: 12 Nov 2004
Posts: 679

PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2004 9:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I won't! don't worry I think it will be a good story when it is done! No it is not a cross over. Thanks for the suggestions!
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Nez
Eccentric Papyrus Jockey


Joined: 07 Oct 2004
Posts: 2617
Location: Bellevue, Ne

PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2004 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Went to your site, read the first chapter.

Has potential, but it's kinda bordering on being a Mary Sue fic.

Mozey seems kinda out of character in some spots.

Other than that, it has potential. Just work on the characterizations.
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Princess Lydia
Elemental


Joined: 12 Nov 2004
Posts: 679

PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2004 3:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am and thanks nez!!
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Princess Lydia
Elemental


Joined: 12 Nov 2004
Posts: 679

PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 7:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Secound chapter is up and its better than the first please read it:
http://www.freewebs.com/princessofwritting/The%20Princess%20Of%20Agrabah.htm
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