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What's the point in asking for help?

 
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Edward Falcon
Sultan


Joined: 14 Oct 2015
Posts: 305

PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2021 8:50 am    Post subject: What's the point in asking for help? Reply with quote

First I apologize for not posting here in a while. Anyway, there's a lot of bad tension between me and a friend I made either last month or the month before. At one point, he had volunteered to help me out with some problems I was having and wanted to help cheer me up and make me feel better. And for a while it was working up until last week, when I was being hassled by people I decided to disassociate myself with, and now that same person who was trying to cheer me up and help me feel better (again, I didn't ask him to help, he volunteered and I took him up on the offer), and while these weren't his exact words, he pretty much told me to just shut up and take it like a man and doesn't want to help me any more, and now he even befriended two of the people who were stressing me out so far when just last month, I was saying nothing but good things about him and applauding him for all of his help. But now after last night I feel as if he is no better than those who were causing me stress to begin with. And when he found out he had made me feel worse than I did by tuning me out, he reportedly said that he was "angry and happy that he was making a person's life more miserable, and that originally he was sad and forcing himself to be a good person, but now he is happy that he made my life more miserable than before". And I'm not even supposed to know that he said that. I heard it through a staff member of his forum that he is in who was defending me against what a jerk he was being to me after he was trying to help make me feel better a while back. You should have seen what I was shown that he was saying last night. I broke down and was filled with anguish and couldn't focus on anything. I even tried to take my mind off of it by watching some YouTube videos I thought were funny (laughter is the best medicine, right?), but it didn't help, and I still feel like garbage. He also said I never stopped by to tell him hello or comment on any of his work or anything, when he never commented on any of my work or stopped by to say hello or see how I was doing. And the staff member of his forum who told me all this was showing me examples of what a hypocrite he was. And now he is saying that he is happy he made me feel worse than I did before when he was trying to make me feel better the past two months?! I don't know how I am supposed to cope with any of this! And prior to that, a long time friend of mine told me that they needed to be away from me for awhile and that they were going to mute and unfollow me on every social media platform they knew me on, but that they would eventually reconnect with me in the future. And this person may not speak to me again for a whole year for all I know! How am I supposed to cope with all this? I could sit here all day and talk about my emotions and the way I am feeling from all this. But I think you get the idea.
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Meesh
Magic Carpet


Joined: 15 Oct 2004
Posts: 3564
Location: Los Angeles

PostPosted: Tue Mar 16, 2021 8:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry you're struggling my friend. I don't have advice for you, but I'm glad you felt safe to rant here. I don't know the specifics, but I know when somebody is unkind to you and then exits your life, it's often best that they leave.
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AladdinsGenie
Genie of the Messageboard


Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Posts: 11787
Location: Tennessee

PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2021 12:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a long standing theory that we as humans weren't meant to be exposed to this much information and "social" media at once. Our generation was basically the guinea pigs for what would happen in terms of our mental, physical and emotional health in the long run having so many ideas and thoughts and images and messages and news in our faces constantly. As a result, it's becoming more and more common for people to take the kind of breaks that your friend did just to give yourself some mental reprieve. It sucks to lose that source of connection when you're going through some things yourself, but giving them space might be what's best for them to cope right now with what's bothering them. It may not be you-you specifically so much as something you're posting about or reminding them of that they can't handle right now. If when they come back and you two are still in a place in your individual lives to be friends again on good terms, then that's great. But I'd definitely do a follow up to make sure this isn't something that won't be repeated later on down the road if it's more related to something you did specifically that maybe you didn't realize you were doing.

As for that forum guy, he's a dick Laughing. Sounds like one of those people who "helps" you, but it's all an empty gesture curated to make them feel better about themselves and look good to others. I'd keep receipts if I were you so if you see him doing that same routine with others they can be warned. I'm always weary of people offering help that soon in to a friendship when you hardly know the person but that's just me.

But maybe you should take a break from that forum? Find somewhere else to hang out at and have fun. I hear discord is hot and popping with the kids lately Laughing
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Edward Falcon
Sultan


Joined: 14 Oct 2015
Posts: 305

PostPosted: Mon Apr 05, 2021 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

AladdinsGenie wrote:
As for that forum guy, he's a dick Laughing. Sounds like one of those people who "helps" you, but it's all an empty gesture curated to make them feel better about themselves and look good to others. I'd keep receipts if I were you so if you see him doing that same routine with others they can be warned. I'm always weary of people offering help that soon in to a friendship when you hardly know the person but that's just me.

But maybe you should take a break from that forum? Find somewhere else to hang out at and have fun. I hear discord is hot and popping with the kids lately Laughing


This place in question was on Discord. And yeah, I have been taking snapshots of what this guy says just in case he tries to lie about me and act like he never said what he said or tries to smear my name because of past experiences with others like him who did the same thing in the past.
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