Caught By the Tale
Story Editors: Mark McCorkle and Robert Schooley
Written by: Mirith J.S. Colao
© Disney 1994
Transcript by Calluna
screencaps • Text-only transcript
(Setting: the marketplace)
Omar: Sugar dates! Pistachios! Ripe ban—
Hey, where are my bananas?
(Iago and Abu are sitting on the roof of one of the stalls,
Iago: Ah! Ya did good, monkey.
(Genie appears in the form of several policemen, only a few
inches high, surrounding them.)
Genie: Freeze! We've got you surrounded! Drop
the fruit, no one gets hurt!
Iago: But I'm starved! See, I have
this, uh, potassium deficiency.
Genie: (as a judge) Nice story! Tell
it to the judge!
Voice: Behold! I'm an almighty genie!
Genie: A fellow genie right here
in Agrabah! Coolness! (goes off in the direction of the voice)
Iago: Swell, two weirdoes in one town.
(Abu runs off after Genie.)
Iago: Woo, yeah! This other genie
might actually grant wishes! (flies off after the others)
(Genie, Iago, and Abu are looking into an alley where they
see two children, a boy and a girl. The girl is standing in a barrel.)
Girl: I am the genie of the barrel!
Iago: For this I gave up a banana.
Girl: I will grant you three wishes.
Boy: I wish for a million more wishes!
Genie: That's cheating!
Girl: Says who?
Genie: Behold! I am an
Boy: Yeah, right.
Genie: No, seriously. Get this:
your names are... (thinking) Kaveed and Yani!
Yani (girl): Wow! How'd you know?
Genie: Because I have semi-phenomenal, nearly
cosmic powers! And, it's sewn on these tags here. (points to
something on the back of Kaveed's collar)
Kaveed (boy): You're just a crafty sorcerer.
Genie: Oh yeah? How do you think I got this? (points
at his smoke tail; Kaveed puts his hand through it) Hunting
accident? Sorcerer do this? (takes off his head) Or this?
(grows so large he takes up the whole alley) Or this? (shrinks
to just a few inches tall) Or this? (give himself a tail
like a mermaid and dives into the ground as if it's water) Sorcerer?
It is to laugh!
Kaveed: Can you do more?
Genie: Oh, that was nothing. You should have seen
the time Aladdin and I—
Genie: Aladdin the hero! We're a team! We do good-guy
stuff! (turns into a cowboy) Like helping the helpless!
And conquering the unconquerable! And recycling the recyclable!
Like the time when Aladdin's evil foe, Abis Mal, tried to steal
the treasure of Fashoom!
(We are shown Fashoom's floating castle from the episode "The
Abis Mal: Fashoom, blast Aladdin! I want that
hero extra crispy!
(Fashoom, a giant cyclops, tries to zap Aladdin with his magic
eye, but Genie jumps in front of him. Abis Mal and his sidekick
Haroud: The genie is sacrificing himself for his
Genie: A Genie kinda thing to do...
Abis Mal: Ooh, that genie has
it all: power, courage, and sparkling smile.
Aladdin: (brandishing a sword) Prepare
to face defeat, Mal!
Abis Mal: Can nothing stop Aladdin and his genie?
(A tiny Genie dressed as an angel appears and pushes the images
out of the way.)
Genie angel: Stop this! Stop this at once! Stop
the violence! These are impressionable young children!
Genie: Ooh, you're right... Then Al and the villain
talked over their differences and rapped.
Iago: Talk, smalk! I'll tell you how it really
happened, and I won't spare you the grisly details.
(We're shown the inside of a dungeon in Fashoom's castle. Iago
kicks open the door.)
Iago: (macho) Is there
a problem here?
(Aladdin and Abu are shackled to the wall.)
Aladdin: At last! We're saved, Abu!
Iago: Captured again, eh boys?
(Abis Mal and Haroud are watching from behind a curtain.)
Abis Mal: Haroud, it is the killer bird!
Haroud: Indeed, sir. Your worthy nemesis, Iago,
the Feathered Fury!
Abis Mal: Oh, he's a magnificent figure... Fry
(Fashoom tries to zap Iago, but he holds up a mirror and reflects
the bolt back at him. There's an explosion and Fashoom falls down,
on top of Abis and Haroud.)
Iago: Eye for an eye, fiends.
(We're now back in the alley; Kaveed and Yani are entranced
by Iago's story.)
Iago: The end.
Yani: Tell us another! (gives Iago a pear)
Iago: (eats the pear) Did I say "the
Kaveed and Yani: There's more?!
Iago: Is there more fruit?
(The two children nod.)
Iago: There's more.
(Setting: the street outside the Thieves' Guild headquarters.
Abis Mal and Haroud are walking along the street. Abis Mal is carrying
Abis Mal: Forty-six, forty-seven,
forty-eight, forty-nine, forty-ten... Eh, uh... Where was I?
Haroud: I believe you had reached forty-ten.
Fifty paces, sir.
Abis Mal: According to this ancient scroll, the
secret stronghold of Scorpo the Undefeated is near, where we will
find Scorpo the Undefeated's golden weapon. Which was apparently
crucial to the whole "undefeated" aspect of his career.
(They walk through a doorway into an empty square. There are
scorpions painted on the walls and a large black fountain in the
Abis Mal: This is it! I have discovered—
Haroud: Absolutely nothing.
Abis Mal: This isn't a secret stronghold. It's
just a... a big empty place! Accessible to the general public! Stupid
scroll! (throws scroll to the ground)
Haroud: (picking up the scroll) Perhaps
my untrained eyes can glean something which eluded your keen intellect.
Abis Mal: Glean away.
Haroud: "Whosoever seeks..." blah blah
blah blah blah... Ah! Of course! Like the lowly desert scorpion,
our fierce fighter seems to have favored an underground lair.
Abis Mal: Anybody could have gleaned that!
(Haroud looks around the square and sees one of the paving
stones has a carving of a scorpion on it.)
(Abis Mal runs to the stone and touches it, and it starts to
slide away, revealing a hole in the floor, but trapping Abis Mal's
fingers. He pulls them out, then tries to climb inside the hole,
but he's too fat to fit inside it.)
Abis Mal: I can fit! I'm not as big as I look!
Ooh, it's this baggy caftan!
Haroud: (pulling Abis Mal out) We must
enlist some help. Some small help...
(Setting: the alley where Genie and Iago were telling stories
Yani: Another story!
Kaveed: Please, Iago!
Iago: I await my muse, my inspiration.
Kaveed: (holding up a bunch of grapes)
We brought more treats for you...
(Genie grabs Iago and throws him out of the way.)
Genie: Okay, okay! My turn, my turn! (sits
cross-legged on the ground wearing Aladdin and Jasmine hand puppets)
Aladdin puppet: Hello, my name is Aladdin, the
streetrat turned adventure hero.
Jasmine puppet: Hi! I'm Jasmine the action-oriented
yet feminine princess.
Genie: Once on his most special day Aladdin was
very sad. His little monkey friend went away on a banana hunt.
(The kids and Abu yawn and start to fall asleep.)
(In the marketplace, near the alley, Abis Mal and Haroud are
walking down the street.)
Haroud: Strange. This place is
usually teeming with filthy urchins.
Genie: His best gal was very busy with the annual
(Abis Mal and Haroud hear Genie talking and look into the alley.)
Abis Mal: Aladdin's genie! Let's get out of here!
Abis Mal: That stupid genie ruins all my plans!
Haroud: This time I think he's helped.
Aladdin puppet: And I thought you forgot my birthday!
Ha ha ha!
(Genie grows six more arms with puppets of Aladdin's other friends
Puppets: Ha ha ha!
(Genie notices that the children and Abu are asleep.)
Iago: Well, who can top that?
Haroud: Those juveniles are small enough to fit
through the hole and retrieve our treasure.
Abis Mal: Put kids in jeopardy? I like it, Haroud.
Iago: Let me tell you about the night I clashed
with Abis Mal's bat of doom!
(We are shown the inside of Fashoom's castle again. Iago is
there with a giant bat.)
Iago: Say your prayers, leather-wings!
(Iago grabs the bat's wing, spins it around, and tosses it
out of the castle. The story is over and we're back in the alley
Iago: And that night, justice was served with
Yani: Tell it again!
Genie: You don't need slimy bats and gratuitous
violence. A story can be wholesome and entertaining. And
teach a little lesson, too. (walks away)
Iago: Good luck finding an audience. Tomorrow
I'll tell you the story of the mad vizier and me. I came this
close to ruling this burg. I—
(Abu gets angry at Iago and starts to attack him, and he chases
Iago out of the alley. Kaveed and Yani laugh at them. Abis Mal and
Haroud approach them.)
Haroud: Hello, children.
Yani: We should go, Kaveed.
Abis Mal: 'Kay. We'll find some other kids who
wanna hear about Aladdin's greatest adventure.
Kaveed: What adventure?! What?!
Abis Mal: Uh, um, yes, well... It all started
at the hideout of the fearsome, famous antihero Abis Mal...
(We are shown the inside of Abis Mal's hideout. A rope drops
from the ceiling, and Aladdin starts to climb down it.)
Abis Mal: (dismissively) ...and, uh,
Aladdin, with that lush hair of his. Uh, wait! No hair!
(Some of "Aladdin"'s hair suddenly disappears.)
Abis Mal: He was completely bald! The strong young
hero... No no no, wait wait! Not strong, weak!
(Aladdin is having a hard time holding himself
Abis Mal: Aladdin could barely climb, because
his belly was so big!
(Aladdin suddenly becomes extremely fat and falls to the ground.
A tall, muscular version of Abis Mal stands over him.)
Abis Mal: (narrating) Aladdin and his
archnemesis came face to face! Well, eh, sort-of, uh, actually Aladdin
had to look up, because Abis Mal was so tall.
(The Abis Mal from the story grows even taller.)
Abis Mal: (in story) I'll give you a
sporting chance, my ineffectual foe. Ha ha!
("Abis Mal" throws a sword to "Aladdin",
who can barely lift it. He manages to pick it up and charges at
Abis, who picks him up, spins him around, and throws him. A beautiful
woman appears out of nowhere and runs to Abis Mal and hugs him.)
Woman: Oh, Abis Mal! You're so strong!
Kaveed: No way!
(We're shown the alley again.)
Kaveed: Aladdin never loses!
Yani: Especially to a hummus-head like Abis Mal!
Abis Mal: Hummus-head? I'll show you!
Haroud: You're very correct. Aladdin would be
hunting for treasure.
Kaveed: Yeah, that's what he would do.
Haroud: How would you like to go on a treasure
hunt, just like Aladdin?
Abis Mal: Okay!
Haroud: Not you, sir. Them.
Abis Mal: Oh, right. You like tight
(Setting: the Marketplace. Iago is eating grapes, and Abu is
sitting next to him, still angry.)
Iago: You want food? Break into the entertainment
biz, like me.
(Abu steals the grapes from Iago and eats them.)
(They see Abis Mal, Haroud, and the two children walk past.)
Iago: Abis Mal! The kids!
(Abu and Iago follow them.)
(Setting: the entrance to Scorpo the Undefeated's lair. Abis,
Haroud, and the kids are looking inside.)
Kaveed: The treasure is down there?
Haroud: That's right!
Yani: (suspiciously) What
kind of treasure?
Abis Mal: Actually, we have no idea exactly what
it is, but it's some kind of a weapon—
Haroud: (covering Abis Mal's mouth) Did
we mention the item is golden?
Yani: This is a bad idea. Forget it!
Haroud: Alas. Few are as brave as Aladdin. (lowers
a rope down into the hole)
Kaveed: I'm brave! (starts climbing down the
Yani: Kaveed, wait! (climbs after him)
(Iago and Abu have just come to the entrance to the square.)
Iago: I see two bad guys. No kids. If anything
happens to those kids... I won't get anymore freebies.
(Abu chatters angrily at Iago.)
Iago: I'm just hiding my true compassion behind
a facade of selfishness! Really!
(Kaveed and Yani have reached the floor of the
Abis Mal: How goes it, little treasure hunters?
Kaveed: I see it!
(Kaveed runs over to a pedestal where there
is a golden helm shaped like a scorpion, picks it up, and runs back
to the rope. The pedestal lowers and a portcullis behind it starts
Kaveed: I found the treasure! I'm an adventurer
just like Aladdin!
Yani: Hurry, let's get outta here.
Kaveed: (shouting) We have the treasure!
Abis Mal: Oh, Aladdin would be so proud!
Haroud: Now be good little adventurers and tie
it to the rope!
(Yani ties the helm to the rope and the two men start to pull
Abis Mal: Thanks, kids! (picks up the helm)
Now I, Abis Mal, have the secret weapon of Scorpo the Undefeated!
Kaveed and Yani: Abis Mal!
Abis Mal: Those Aladdin stories have rotted your
brains! You kids have been rooting for the wrong guy! (laughs
and throws the rope down into the chamber below)
(Kaveed and Yani huddle together, frightened.
Behind them, where the portcullis was earlier, are six sets of glowing
eyes. Abis Mal and Haroud run off with the weapon; once they're
gone Abu and Iago run up to the chamber entrance.)
Iago: I'll fly us down to the kids. (picks
up Abu with his talons) You feel lighter. You been eating okay?
(Kaveed and Yani look up and see Iago and Abu's silhouette, but
from their angle they look like a giant bat.)
Kaveed and Yani: The Bat of Doom!
Kaveed: Abis Mal sent it to attack
us! But I'm going to attack it first!
(As Iago and Abu reach the floor, Kaveed tackles them. He misses
Abu, but lands on top of Iago.)
Kaveed: Iago? I thought you were the Bat of Doom.
Iago: Bat of Doom?! That was just a story! You—
(Abu starts chattering at Iago angrily.)
Iago: My story was not too scary! (tries
to point at Abu, but something in his wing makes a cracking sound.
His wing looks twisted.) Ow! Look at this! This is pretty!
Kaveed: I'm sorry.
Iago: (sighs) All right,
all right. I'll fly up and get some help.
(Iago tries to fly out, but his his wing is too damaged and
he just falls back down again.)
Iago: Oh, great, I'm busted.
Yani: (sighs) We're trapped.
Yani: Shh! Listen...
(They hear a rustling sound coming from the room behind where
the pedestal was and start to back away. Giant scorpions come out
of doorway and start heading towards them.)
Yani: (calmly) Don't worry, Kaveed. Iago
conquered the Bat of Doom. He'll protect us.
Kaveed: Iago, I'm scared.
Iago: You're scared? I'm gonna have a
Yani: But heroes can't be scared. Can they?
(They're now backed up all the way to the wall on the opposite
side of the chamber.)
Iago: Oh, yes. Sometimes a hero can be so scared
that he, uh—
Iago: I forget!
(Yani looks behind her and sees a pillar.)
Yani: Climb, Kaveed!
(Kaveed and Yani climb to the top of the pillar, out of the
reach of the scorpions. Iago is still frozen with fear, so Abu pulls
him up to the top with him.)
(Setting: inside the Skull and Dagger, headquarters of the
Haroud: It's just a hat.
Abis Mal: Haroud, it's not just any hat. This
is the hat of a man who was undefeated! (takes off his own hat
and puts on the golden helm) And it's shiny and everything!
(jumps up on top of the table) Friends! Colleagues! Criminally
inclined! Bow down, for I shall now rule you all!
(The place is empty, except for a waiter and a big, stupid
thief called Akbar.)
Waiter: Sorry, Mal. Slow day.
Abis Mal: Ooh, rats.
Akbar: Akbar want shiny hat!
Abis Mal: Get away! It's my hat!
Akbar: (advancing on Abis) Akbar want
shiny hat now!
(As Abis Mal stands there cowering, a bolt of magic shoots
out of the helm's scorpion tail, freezing Akbar.)
Abis Mal: I'm... I'm alive! And you, you're...
frozen! (in a sing-song voice) Akbar the mighty is out
Waiter: You just can't go around freezing my customers
like that! Who do—
(Abis freezes the waiter.)
Abis Mal: Did you see that, Haroud?! Pretty snazzy,
eh? (thinking) Now, what to do? What to do?
Haroud: The throne, sir?
Abis Mal: I'm not following you.
Haroud: The throne of Agrabah.
Abis Mal: Yes? Yes?
Haroud: ...could be yours.
Abis Mal: Right! My longtime villainous goal!
(Setting: Scorpo the Undefeated's lair)
Iago: Maybe this isn't as bad as it looks.
Kaveed: No more stupid lies!
(Abu chatters angrily at Iago.)
Iago: (angrily) Okay, I lied. It's Aladdin.
He's the hero. He has the guts. He has the bright ideas. (sadly)
He's the one who never gives up.
Yani: If Aladdin doesn't give up,
then we won't give up.
Kaveed: But Yani, how do we stop the scorpions?
Yani: We don't have to stop them. We just have
to escape them.
Iago: This kid's soundin' more
like Aladdin by the minute. Which means a cockamamie plan should
Yani: We'll go out the way the scorpions came
in. Follow me!
(There is a line of pillars leading back toward the gate where
the scorpions entered the chamber. Yani starts jumping from one
pillar to another, and the others follow her. Iago grabs on to Abu's
tail, since he still can't fly. As Abu jumps to another pillar,
the scorpions almost get Iago.)
Iago: Aah, keep me up! I've had enough damage
for one day!
(Now that they've reached the pillar closest to the gate, they
jump down to the ground and run through it.)
(Kaveed is the last one to reach the gate. He picks up a sword
lying on the ground and cuts a rope holding up the portcullis. He
dives underneath it just before it hits the ground, trapping the
scorpions on the other side. The four of them are now in a long
Kaveed: I'll find a way out. Come on!
Iago: Not that I didn't have moments of heroism...
(runs into a spiderweb) Ow! A spiderweb in my face! Get
it off! I'm creeping out here!
(Setting: the alley. Genie is still playing with his sock puppets.)
Genie: Where is everyone? We were going to do
the story of Aladdin's mischievous pet dinosaur today.
(Setting: the underground tunnel)
Iago: Well, now what?!
Kaveed: I feel a draft! Come on!
(They enter a side chamber. There's a semi-transparent skylight
in the roof of the chamber, and the sounds of the marketplace can
Iago: Oh, this is lovely.
Kaveed: All right!
Yani: Let's go!
(They start climbing pillars up towards the roof of the chamber,
where they try to push the skylight open. In the marketplace, a
man is lying on a bed of nails above the skylight. When they finally
manage to get it open they flip the bed of nails over on top of
the man, who screams.)
Iago: The marketplace! We're free!
Genie: There you are!
Iago: Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
(Genie runs up to them, still wearing his sock puppets.)
Genie: Storytime! Where have you been?
Yani: Abis Mal trapped us!
Kaveed: There were these giant scorpions, and then they—
Genie: Oh, my story is much better than that.
Kaveed & Yani: It's not a story!
Yani: Abis Mal tricked us into getting him this
Kaveed: Yeah, it belonged to some undefeated guy.
Genie: What could he do with a hat?
(Setting: the throne room entrance to the palace. Abis Mal
freezes the two guards standing outside and runs into the throne
Abis Mal: Move over, Sultan! You're in my seat!
(Setting: the marketplace)
Genie: We'd better get to the palace and warn
Al, just in case. (to Abu) Feeling fleet of foot, my friend?
(Genie turns Abu into a two-humped camel, and
the others climb up onto his back. The kids are on the front hump,
Genie at the back, and Iago holds on to the tail.)
Genie: Hmm, need an extra seat. (creates a
third hump, which Kaveed takes) That's better!
Iago: Hey, we're not setting any new land speed
Genie: Nothing that roller skates and rocket boosters
(Zaps roller skates onto Abu's feet and gives him two rocket
boosters. They race through the marketplace in a matter of seconds
and crash through the palace's front gates. A few moments later,
they're hiding behind a column, looking into the throne room.)
Sultan: What a—
(Abis freezes him.)
Abis Mal: You're witnessing history, Haroud. (pushes
the frozen Sultan to the ground) Agrabah is about to get a
new ruler! Me!
Genie: (whispers) There'll be no Sultan-tipping
in my town!
(Abis Mal jumps onto the throne and laughs.)
Yani: We should help him!
Iago: Oh, no. Genie can handle it.
Genie: Sock puppets, you're on!
(Genie takes four of the Sock puppets, Aladdin, Jasmine, Genie,
and the dinosaur, and enlarges them, making them taller than a person.
They hop towards Abis Mal and Haroud.)
Abis Mal: Haroud, it's the good guys! (freezes
them) Ha ha! I've done it!
Haroud: Except they appear to be giant sock puppets.
Abis Mal: I thought the princess looked
a little wooly.
Genie: So, you fell for my diversion, eh Mal?
Ha! You should have seen yourself chasing after my socks. What a
dupe! What a stooge! What a—
(Abis Mal freezes Genie.)
Iago: Genie can usually handle it...
Yani: What happens when he can't?
Iago: Eh, usually that's where Aladdin comes in
and says something like...
Aladdin: Your reign is over, Abis Mal!
Iago: Huh, I'm confused. Am I tellin' another
(Abu points to one of the windows where Aladdin is standing,
holding a sword and the end of a rope. He swings down and lands
in front of Abis Mal.)
Aladdin: You'd better call off the coronation,
Kaveed: He's so brave!
Yani: He's so cute!
Abis Mal: Oh uh, by the way, Aladdin, I have a
new name: Abis the Undefeated!
(Abis starts shooting frost bolts at Aladdin, who dodges.)
Abis Mal: Hey! No! You weren't supposed to dodge!
Dodging is out!
Haroud: I'll just await your victory from a safe
distance. (runs back to hide behind the throne)
(Abis chases Aladdin around the giant sock puppets, trying
to freeze him. When he's not looking, Aladdin pushes the dinosaur
puppet over on top of him.)
Abis Mal: Aah! Oh, big sock. Right. (pushes
it away) Hold still, you lowly... uh... uh, um...
Haroud: (leaning out from behind the throne)
Rakish knave, sir!
(Aladdin runs in front of Haroud and starts taunting Abis Mal.)
Abis Mal: Yes! Take that, rakish knave!
(Abis tries to freeze Aladdin, but he moves just in time and
the bolt freezes Haroud instead.)
Abis Mal: Haroud! (runs up to him)
(Aladdin pushes the frozen Haroud over on top of Abis Mal.)
Abis Mal: Haroud! Get off!
(Kaveed starts to laugh. Yani covers his mouth, but it's too
Abis Mal: Oh, you think it's funny, do you? Well
Iago: (whispering) Innocent bystanders
are supposed to sit tight and clam up.
(Abis Mal tries to freeze the kids, but they duck behind the
Kaveed: I'm no bystander! I'm a hero like Aladdin!
(runs into the throne room)
Yani: Kaveed, wait!
(Kaveed head-butts Abis Mal in the stomach but doesn't hurt
him. Abis grabs him and lifts him up by his belt.)
Abis Mal: Prepare to be stung, you little Aladdin
Aladdin: Drop him, Abis Mal!
(While Abis isn't looking, Kaveed slips out of his belt and
Aladdin: I've got a genie and I'm not afraid to
(Aladdin pulls the belt off of the frozen Genie so quickly
that he starts to spin around, towards Abis Mal.)
Abis Mal: I can't freeze him! He's already frozen!
(Genie's arm knocks the helm off of Abis Mal's head) My
(Abis runs and dives towards where the helm fell, but when
he reaches it Aladdin is there and is standing over him with his
Abis Mal: No!
(Aladdin raises his sword, and it looks as if he's going to
behead Abis Mal, but instead he chops the tail off the scorpion
on Scorpo the Undefeated's helm. Genie unfreezes.)
Genie: Hey, I'm thawed!
Haroud: (thaws, then looks around) Oh,
my! However did I get in the palace?! I'll let myself out. (runs
Aladdin: Face it, Mal. This is the end.
Abis Mal: (running away) This story's
(Abis Mal tries to escape, but the guards thaw just in time
to capture him.)
Abis Mal: ...yet.
(Setting: later that day, at Aladdin's hovel. Aladdin, Genie,
Iago, Abu, and the two kids are sitting around a table.)
Genie: And now, just desserts.
(Genie creates a giant banana split which covers the entire
table. Abu starts shoveling food into his mouth, but the children
are staring at Aladdin.)
Aladdin: (whispering to Genie) Do I have
food on my vest or something?
Kaveed: He never ate in the stories!
Aladdin: Guys, what exactly did you tell them
in these stories?
Kaveed: You were the best hero ever!
Yani: The best! And taller!
Yani: (dreamily) Yeah, gigantic...
Aladdin: Doing stuff like escaping from killer
scorpions and helping to save Agrabah?
Kaveed & Yani: Yeah, like that!
Aladdin: Like you. Anybody can be a hero.
Iago: The key is how you tell it to your friends
when you get home. You gotta spice it up, dramatize, embellish!
Genie: Haven't you learned anything?
Iago: ...then, hit 'em with the message, like
in your case, I think "don't talk to strangers" would