Well, there's really no point going to the bookshelves right now, is there? Those Mamluks, or whatever they are, are probably still hanging about: like I said, they're like coat-hangers. Maybe we should wait around a little longer and....OWWW! Barked my shin, on this....

Will you look at all these chests? I've never seen so many in one place before. They look rather interesting. There's a padlock here. Keys anyone? No, I don't suppose you would have any: I know I don't. But I do have....have....have...Damn it, I forgot to bring the Universal Remote! But....God save the Swiss, and long may they keep making these beautiful knives of theirs, and Toblerone chocolates, of course! The medium-size blade should do it. There! What's that you say? No, no, I've no skill as a lock-pick I'm afraid; never been a street rat. But just once, I decided reality should only apply to other people...I may become addicted to it before this is over; it's quite exhilarating. Anyway, that should do it. Would you kindly get me that stick over there? I've not come this far to put my hand in a bunch of snakes, or scorpions or spiders. None. Well, I knew it was probably going to be anti-climactic anyway.

Hmmm. Moze's penmanship appears to have gone downhill with these things. Either he suffered a loss of fine motor control, or....was very young.....YES!

These are Moze's old schoolbooks and assignments (cackle)! Now we REALLY need to be careful: if he knew we'd seen these, he'd really have a reason for not letting us out of here alive...not that he would let us out alive anyway, but no sense ticking him off more. Let's see: a few wormy poisoned apples for the teacher...those dead worms are always a give-away, aren't they? A sensitive maniac like him, and he keeps all his juvenalia...always a source of risk to your enemies. I think Iago would really enjoy this. What's this? Looks like Moze's first attempt at a poem:

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill got a rare parasitic infection fromThe unboiled water and died.

Nice rhyme scheme until the end there. And I don't think Mother Goose would sue for copyright...after being plucked, roasted and eaten, she wouldn't. Let's see, what else is here: 'What are little Mamluks made of? Skin and spit and broken bits, That's...' Ooookaaay. 'Write a 500-word essay on what you like about your mother.' First, I'm not going to write what I like about my mother, because I *don't* like her.Since 500 words is too short to list EVERYTHING I dislike about her, I'll just stick to the highlights.

1. No-one should be forced to eat mouse-and-spinach casserole, no matter *how* good they say it is for you. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, EXCEPT maybe my worst enemy.
2. She always tells me evil never sleeps. Why then do I have to go to bed at eight o' clock? Double standard!
3. Eating again. She berates me for chewing with my mouth open, while *she* plays with her food. Openly!
4. I hate the smell of catnip.
5. Taking baths, and finding someone else's hair in the tub. Mind you, she doesn't take that many baths, but I don't have that much hair at the moment....
6. Berating me for spitting while freely coughing up hairballs in mixed company.
7. How rough her tongue is when she kisses me good-night.
8. *Kissing* me good-night, period.
9. How she always seems to know I did something, even when I try to pin it on Xerxes.
10. Her tongue again. I try and tell her it's better for *me* to use a comb on my hair.
11. All the other children of evil elementals have neat powers. When company comes, I'm forced to result to the tack on the chair bit, which half the time doesn't work on them anyway. And after I'm fried, or half-drowned, or sandblasted, she says it builds character! Oh, no! I'll have to LEARN magic, will I?
12. 60s Psychedelic. That's all I'm going to say on the subject.
13. The fact that she dresses me for school.
14. That she would DARE give me a smiley-face lunch-pail.
15. Every time I capture a djinn and bring it home, she destroys it.
16. Not letting me burn down the library after I take books out of it.
17. Buying matching pairs of gloves.
18. I don't know which is worse: playing with the balls of yarn, or the sweaters she knits me with them.
19. Hallowe'en comes once every year. OK. I think every seven years going out with the El Katib and spreading terror and chaos is not too much to ask. She says she doesn't want me hanging out 'with the wrong kind of people.' Yeah, right.
20. Just thinking about her and having to write this is making me furious.
21. Music lessons.
22. If this keeps up, I'm going to have to kill somebody.
23. The fact that she constantly changes Morbia's landscape. I don't like going out to play and falling into the void, Mum.
24. I BETTER get an A for this. Or someone's going to get hurt.
25. Hearing, 'Oh isn't that the CUTEST thing!' whenever I try my latest magic item and it blows up. Thanks, Mum.
26. Accusing me of making Mamluks, just so I can destroy them. Of course that's what I'm doing!
27. That's it. I can't stand this anymore. Watching Xerxes get writer's cramp is just too creepy. And he's had that pen in his mouth, so I'M not using it ever again.That's why I hate my mother. The End. Mozenrath.

Well, the kid got an 'A' , all right. There it is, written in the teacher's blood, along with: 'This composition shows remarkable maturity and insight. You quite clearly depict what you dislike about your mother. And please don't hurt me again.' That famed Mozenrath sensitivity is just everywhere...

Well, I don't hear them out there anymore. Do you? Much fun as this stuff is, we'll have to leave it for now, unless we can find a way to take it with us.

Look, there's a section of shelves we haven't been to yet. Come on....

To Be Continued...