Written by: Larry Gensch
Copyright: Larry's usual - you've all seen it by now.
Maintainer's note:
Following the change of lyrics in _Aladdin_'s "Arabian Nights", brought about by a complaint from the Arab American League, the satire flowed thick and fast on rec.arts.disney about censorship. This began with my own "American French Chef League" complaint regarding the depiction of Louis on _The Little Mermaid_.
The newly formed Disney Villain Society is mounting a campaign to stop the unfair treatment of villains in Disney movies.
Society President, the towering Chernobog, says "It's unfair, but ever since the beginning, our members have been depicted as unfeeling and have eventually met with such cruel fates."
A partial list of complaints:
Cruella - "I don't even LIKE cigarettes, since I read the Surgeon General's report. Disney didn't care. You should see how many letters I get from the American Cancer Society."
Gaston - "Why should someone as good looking as me be depicted as an egotistical, uneducated boor? Disney seems to have forgot that I graduated third in my class in high school. In addition, like Cruella, my depiction in the film has gotten many irate letters from such groups as Friends of Animals. Friends of Animals??? Bah! Belle is the only Friend of an Animal I know!"
Ursula - "Now, my dear, do I LOOK like a power hungry sea witch? Of course not. Disney told me they were going to use my character to advance the plot. But LOOK at all the deceitful and despicable things they have me do? Do I deserve this?''
Jafar - "You know, I ask a young boy... I even called him a `Jewel In The Rough'... to do me a single favor and retrieve something from a cave. He stole it, and then uses it to get the girl of my dreams. And then they had the gall to stick me in a lamp with that dumb parrot for a few centuries."
Iago - "Yeah. They asked me who I wanted to do my voice. They told me that Robin Williams was already doing another voice. I suggested Mel Gibson. They gave me Gilbert Godfried, for chrissake! A real good choice - NOT!"
Chernobog adds, "They turned me into a mountain and played that horrid church music!"
So what is the society after?
"We want Disney to alter all the scenes where we appear in our movies and present us in a more positive light. Cruella can be shown doing her work with homeless children; Gaston could be shown discussing power and stress ratios with Maurice; Ursula wants an additional scene where she rescues a little child who falls off an ocean liner; Jafar and Iago just want to get the girl."
Disney Chairman Michael Eisner could not be reached for comment.