Truly Happy By Laura Muench corrected by Cyndi Combs

It was already quite late when I went to bed that evening, and I was very tired. Thank God holidays begin tomorrow, two weeks sleeping late. What a wonderful thought! I undressed and went to bed. It lasted not long, and I had fallen asleep.

When I woke up, it was still pitch-dark. I had just asked myself what had waken me when I suddenly felt a movement on my bed. I was paralyzed and didn't dare to move, but after a while, I seized the light switch fast and turned on the light. What I saw now took my breath away. At the base of my bed sat Iago, and he looked frightened to me. I could only stare disbelievingly back, but as Iago said a timid, "Er. Hello!" the spell was broken.

"Iago! I can't believe it. How did you come here? I always wished to meet you and talk to you!"

I wouldn't have stopped talking if Iago had not looked frightened at me more and more. But fortunately, I noticed it and became silent fast. Iago hesitated only one moment, then he had regained his speech and began to speak his part:

"Well, if I'm allowed to say something now. Who are you, where am I, and how do you know my name?"

"Oh, Iago! My name is Laura, and I know you from television. Do you see the large apparatus over there?" I pointed at my television. "That is a TV. At a certain time during the day, you can see the series of Aladdin there. They are the adventures which you experienced with Aladdin and the others."

"And you expect me to believe you? Hey, I'm not stupid, you know? If you want me to believe you, you'll have to prove it." He folded his wings in front of his chest and looked at me, waiting for an answer.

"I've recorded a few episodes and would also show them to you, but my parents sleep next door, and they could wake up. I can show you the episodes tomorrow."

"Too bad that I won't be here tomorrow. I don't want to stay here any longer. If you'd be so nice to bring me back to Agrabah, I need my beauty sleep." With that, the conversation seemed terminated by him, but it was not that easy.

"I didn't bring you here; therefore, I don't know how you can go back. Sorry."

"Great! Now I am stuck here for who knows how long. Really great."

"Not so loud, you could wake my parents! Besides, I'd find it quite cool if you'd stay here for a while."

"But I don't!" Iago was already so angry now that he could start yelling at any time, which I wanted to avoid in any case. I had to come up with something in order to calm him down.

"Hey, why are you so annoyed? It's not that bad here. At least there are no monsters here who want to kill you, and nobody wants you to risk your life for other people. Perhaps you can bring yourself to stay here overnight. We can look for a way to send you back to Agrabah tomorrow. What do you think of that?" Iago seemed to see that it didn't help anything if he'd continued complaining.

"Well, okay. We wait until tomorrow. Can I sleep here somewhere?"

"Sure. You can sleep in my bed if you want, but I guess I also have some pillows, if you'd like to sleep somewhere else."

"I choose the pillows."

"As you like." I looked for a few pillows in my room and found two in a corner. I put them near my bed and pointed on at them. "Here you are. It is surely not as comfortable as in the palace, but for today, it'll have to be enough." Iago lay down on the pillows and made himself comfortable. I went to bed again and wanted to turn off the light, when another thing occurred to me.

"Er, Iago? Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Would I be allowed to, well, stroke you?"

"What?!" He turned, shocked at me.

"You know, I always wanted to stroke you some time. It would mean very much to me." I looked hopefully at him.

"Uh, well. I guess it won't kill me." I stretched my hand out and stroked over his feathers carefully.

"You have beautiful feathers. They are very soft." Iago looked at me, not sure what to say.

"Uh, thanks. Good night!" I pulled my hand back and turned off the light. "Good night, Iago."

* * * * *

When I woke up for the second time, it was already light. I looked immediately at the place where Iago had slept last night on the pillows. Half I expected that there would be nothing, and I had just dreamed everything, but Iago still lay there and slept soundly. I just wanted to jump up for joy and hug the little bird, but I didn't want to wake him. So, I looked at the clock. Half past eight. That was good. Mum has to be at work, and Dad surely has already finished breakfast. I rose and dressed quietly, but obviously, I was not quiet enough, because Iago woke up and yawned. He stretched, but suddenly stopped in the middle of the movement and looked around, surprised.

"Oh, I am still here!"

"I wish you a beautiful good morning, Iago!" I said merrily and pulled open the shutters. Everything I heard from Iago was a "Hey! Why do you have to dazzle me in such a way?" I turned and looked at him. The blue and red of his feathers look even more beautiful in the daylight, I thought.

"Look, my mum is already at work , and I guess that my Dad is outside and working in the garden, but I don't want to take a risk. Could you probably stay here for a while, until I have had breakfast? I'll then bring you something, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. But hurry! I'm starving!"

With a shake of the head, I left my room and went to have breakfast. As I had expected, my dad was outside in the garden. After I had finished, I wondered what Iago would like to eat. I cut an apple and took a banana. Then I remembered my grandma's tasty oat cookies, and I took a few of them, too.

When I came into my room again, Iago sat on the seat-back of my chair and preened himself. But as he saw me coming into the room, he stopped and flew over to me.

"Well, what did you bring me? I hope it's good, otherwise I'll be in a bad mood the whole day long. And you don't want that, right?"

"No, definitely not! I hope an apple and a banana is enough for you, otherwise I'll have to get more."

I made some room on my desk and placed the plate on it. Iago landed near it and began to eat. While I made my bed, I heard him eating noisily behind me. When I had finished, I turned and said: "Well, it seems to taste good to you."

"Quite good." was everything I could understand.

"Fine. I also brought a few crackers for you. Here you are." I held out the cookies to him, but he only swallowed and said:

"You don't expect me to eat them, do you? I hate crackers!" I was surprised, but then I remembered.

"Oh! I had almost forgotten that. But these are not Sultan crackers. Those are not dusty and dry; these cookies taste really good! You have to taste." He looked at me in doubt, but then he took one and pushed it slowly into his beak. He bit off a piece and chewed it carefully. Suddenly, his face became excited, and he pushed the whole remaining cookie into his beak. I had to grin and gave him the other cookies also. While he crumbled over the whole table behind me, I looked for the video where I had recorded a few Aladdin episodes, and I pushed it into the video recorder. Then I checked how Iago was doing with the cookies. He had already eaten them all, and now he flew over to me. I sat down on my bed, and he sat down on my shoulder. Cool. Another thing from my list of things I always wished to become true. Iago looked at the black screen of my television and asked:

"What do you do now?"

"Now I'll prove to you that I know you from TV." With that, I started the video. It was in fact in the middle of the episode "Hero with a Thousand Feathers," but that didn't matter. It was only important that Iago saw himself on TV. And while the Iago on the screen was arguing with his conscience, the Iago on my shoulder stared with open beak at the television.

"Well, do you believe me now?"

"But how do you know what happened there? I was completely alone!" Iago was totally surprised.

"The whole series was imagined by some people who made a cartoon series out of it. But somehow they must have created a world from which you came out yesterday night. Perhaps you also understand now why I want to hide you from my parents: It doesn't happen every day that a cartoon figure appears in our world. I don't know how the people would react to you. And till we know how we can bring you back into your world, we should continue hiding you."

I let Iago watch a while, then I rose and went to my cabinet again. After I had found The Return of Jafar, I exchanged the videos and reeled up to the final. I wanted to show Iago that I also knew about this part of his past. When I sat down again, Iago fluttered on my lap and looked curiously at the television. I don't know what he had expected to see, but as the terrible, demonical form of Jafar appeared on the screen and laughed with a frightening voice, the small bird on my lap suddenly began to tremble. Poor Iago. It must have been even more worse for him than I always thought.

His voice was unusually quiet as he asked me:

"Why did you show me that? I don't want to see it."

"I want you to see what a courageous hero you are deep in your heart. You had to go through much, but you still have the strength and the courage to feel and trust." I took a break to see how Iago would react to my words. To my horror, he looked embittered at me and said:

"I am nothing like you just said. I am no hero. At that time, when I destroyed Jafar, I had only fear, okay? I hope you don't believe I would have done that to save Agrabah or Aladdin and the others. I did that because I saw a chance to get rid of Jafar once and for all. I was afraid he would get revenge on me next, because I had betrayed him and wanted to beat him to it. That was not the act of a hero; that was the act of a selfish coward!"

I was shocked by his words. I didn't know that he hated himself so much.

"No, Iago! You must not be so hard on yourself. A coward would have flown away from it and would have hidden from Jafar for his whole life. But you stayed there and saved your friends. And you did that because they were important to you. You care about your friends, even if you don't show it often, right? I think you just need a calm moment to think about it."

I really hoped that I had convinced Iago, but I was disappointed. Now he was angry.

"What do you actually understand about it? You didn't have to experience what I had to go through. You can talk intelligent, but you don't even have an idea of what I think and feel!"

"Don't be so sure. I never would say that I know what you went through, but my life was, up to now, also not that great. I often was hurt and not accepted when I showed my true feelings, thoughts, and interests, and therefore, I built barriers to protect me against agony. Exactly like you. I learned to show only a small part of my true self, the part which does not frighten the other people and doesn't give them a chance to hurt me. Even if I still trust someone too much from time to time and then I'm nevertheless hurt again. Probably I will never learn it.

But in contrast to you I am always honest with myself. I know exactly what and how I am and what not, and I stand by my feelings. I don't want you to destroy your barriers and trust everyone blindly. That I would also never do. But if you don't stop denying your strengths and hating yourself, then you will never be able to become truly happy. And I want you to become truly happy. You really deserve it."

During my last words, Iago looked sadly at me, and as I became silent, he lowered his eyes and asked:

"How you can say all this? I don't deserve it. I am not like you think. I am greedy, selfish, cowardly and mean. And I have a talent of bringing other people to hate me. I can't blame them."

"Iago, I know your weaknesses, but everyone has weaknesses! You may see not always only your bad qualities; you must believe in your strengths. I think I know you quite well, and therefore, I know that you have many strengths. You always have good ideas, and your knowledge already often helped. Sometimes you have fear, but that's understandable because of the monsters you always fight! And nevertheless, you already often risked your life for your friends. That shows that you care and aren't really selfish. And finally, I want to tell you the quality which I admire the most about you. Although you were often terribly hurt and disappointed in your life, you still have the strength and the courage to care for other people and maybe even trust them. I think that requires very much willpower. Nobody could destroy you, not even Jafar. And therefore, you are in my eyes a really special and unique person." All my hope and love lay in those words. If Iago still contradicted now, I would not have known what more I would say. But what I had wished more than everything else, happened: I saw hope in Iago's eyes.

"You...you really mean that, don't you? Nobody's ever spoke to me in such a way. I...I thank you. Perhaps there is a chance for me to be free some day."

"I'm absolutely sure!" I looked lovingly in his eyes and stroked him gently. He looked at me full gratitude and nestled a little against me.

* * * * *

We sat together this way for a while and thought about things. It was a wonderful feeling of caring and confidence.

But we were suddenly disturbed when I heard steps on the stairs. I jumped up and said:

"Oh, no! That's my father. We must hide you somewhere." Just in time, I stuffed Iago under the blanket because the next moment my dad came into the room.

"Are you going to make something to eat soon? I'm hungry." I looked at my watch and was shocked how late it already was.

"Oh, I just forgot it. I'll soon cook something. Er, you can go out in the garden again; I'll then bring you the meal." My dad looked at me skeptically and asked:

"Do you want to get rid of me? What trouble are you causing again?"

"Nothing. I never cause trouble, remember?" I smiled innocently at him.

"Well. I should believe you, right?" With that, he left my room, and I sighed, relieved. I just waited one moment, then I got Iago out from under the cover.

"What was that supposed to be? I nearly suffocated down there! The next time you warn me, if you don't mind, before you stuff me somewhere." He sat down on the table and shook to bring his disheveled feathers back in order.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want my parents to see you. I already explained that. I have to make something to eat now, but if you want, you can come along with me." At the word "eat" Iago's face brightened up, and he flew over to me. When he landed on my shoulder, he said:

"Let's go. I hope you have more from these tasty cookies." I went to the door, but suddenly something occurred to me.

"There is still something you should know. We have, er, five cats."

"Cats?" He flew up, frightened, and brought himself a safe distance from the door.

"Do you want to kill me? I'll leave this room in no case. Oohh, no!"

"Please, don't get upset like that. After all, you live together with a tiger in the palace. And you can fly. They cannot reach you at all. And in addition, I will never allow anything to happen to you." I stretched out my arm.

"Do you trust me?"

Iago hesitated, but then he overcame his hesitation and perched on my shoulder. Together, we left my room and went to the kitchen.

* * * * *

I really hoped that no cat was in the kitchen, but it didn't help anything. Molly, Merlin, and Nikos lay there and slept. When Iago saw the cats, he clung to my shoulder a little more, but he didn't say anything. I tried to calm him down:

"If you don't behave like prey, they'll not notice you."

"Like prey? Oh, thank you very much! Now I am really reassured!" Iago had made it. All three cats woke up and looked with interest over to us. I decided, however, that they didn't want Iago to the feathers and went slowly to the cupboard. Always with an eye on the cats, I cooked something for my father and then cut Iago and me apples and bananas. Finally, I searched for a few cookies and put them also on the plate.

"Why did you put the cookies down? We can eat them now." Iago said, uncomprehending.

"Do you want to eat here? In one room with the cats?"

"Er. You're right. We had better eat in your room."

"I think so. But first, I have to bring my father his meal. At the best, you should stay in the bathroom for a while. There, the cats can't get inside." I brought Iago into the bathroom and then brought my father the meal. But when I was in the house again, I was shocked. The bathroom door stood open, and on the floor lay a few red feathers.

"Oh-oh. Er, Iago? Where are you?"

"Hey, why are you staring at me? Leave me alone!" That came from above. I ran up the stairs fast and found Iago sitting on a curtain rod. And beside him, on a table, Nikos sat and got ready for the jump. I called his name, but he couldn't be diverted from it. Before I could reach him, he jumped and got Iago's tailfeathers. The parrot screamed as if he was going to be killed and broke away from the cat. Nikos fell down and landed reliably on his feet.

"Nikos! Get lost from here and leave Iago alone!" Nikos, frightened, ran away. Iago had landed on the table in the meantime and looked at his plucked tail. Then he looked at me full anger.

"Oh, really great! I nearly had a heart attack, but it seems as if it doesn't matter to you!"

"Oh, Iago! I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have left you alone. I never wanted that anything to happen to you! I am so sorry." As Iago saw that I reproached hard, his face became more gentle.

"Er, never mind. I mean, nothing really happened. Perhaps we should forget the whole thing and eat now."

"You are no longer mad at me?" Iago shook his head. I was relieved. "Thanks!"

I got the plates fast and put three cookies more on it for Iago.

* * * * *

After the meal, we watched TV. It seemed to please Iago very much, but when it was around four, we had to go into my room again.

"Why can't we watch television further?"

"My mum comes home soon, and I don't want her to see you. We can watch videos in my room, if you like.

"What do you have?"

"Come along. I'll show you." In my room, I rummaged through my videos and showed them to Iago.

"Let's see. I have three dragon films, two horror films, one ghost film, and two wizard films."

Iago looked doubtingly at me. "Have you ever thought about going to the psychiatrist?"

I had to laugh. "I guess if you don't have to fight against monsters and other things every other day, you find them quite interesting. But if you don't want to see the films, we could also play cards."

"Yes! Let's play poker!"

"I can't play poker, but we could play another deck of cards. I also have roulette, but we don't play for money!"

That disappointed Iago very much.

"Why not? Without money, the tension is missing."

"First of all, you have no money; secondly, my money wouldn't be useful for you, and thirdly, we can also have fun without money." Iago didn't look as if that would please him much, so I suggested a compromise.

"Well, if it means so much to you, we can play for something else."

"Oh, you have only fear to lose! With Al, we always play for money."

I didn't believe him, but I had an idea. He didn't know the value of our money at all, and if I lost a few cents to him, that wouldn't be that bad.

"Well, you persuaded me. I give you some of my money. What do you like to play?"

Iago was enthusiastic. "Roulette!"

I got the roulette from my cupboard, and we played till I became too tired and didn't want to play any longer.

"Let's finish; I am tired. In addition, you already won enough money." In fact, he had only two Euro, but Iago didn't know.

"But I have a streak of luck! We cannot stop now."

"Oh, sure we can! I am going to take a shower now, and then I'll say good night to my parents. Then I will go to bed, whether you want or not." With that, I left Iago alone and went to the bathroom.

* * * * *

When I came into my room again, Iago had cleared away the game. Strange. I bet he usually never tidies up. He sat on the bed and looked depressed. I went to him and sat down next to him on the bed.

"What's wrong with you? You look so sad."

He looked up to me and said:

"You know, it's really nice with you, and I really enjoyed the day, but I guess I want to be back in Agrabah."

What he said shocked me, but I could also understand him.

"You are missing your friends, right?"

"My friends? Er, no. It is... the weather, you know? In Agrabah, it is much warmer and--- "

"Oh, Iago. You don't have to lie to me. I understand you, you know that. And I really want to help you, but I don't know how."

"Oh." Iago was very disappointed, and I wondered what could have brought him here. Then I had an idea.

"Iago, I have a supposition. Yesterday evening, just before I fell asleep, I thought of you and wished you could be here. Perhaps I wished you here!"

Iago had hope again.

"Could you probably wish me back again?"

"I don't know. Actually, I would like you to stay here, but I also don't want you to be unhappy. I can see how much you are missing Agrabah. We should try it."

Iago looked happily at me, but then he probably noticed how sad I was, because he said:

"Perhaps we can see each other again. You... have helped me very much. I want to thank you." His last words sounded so sincere that I would have nearly cried for happiness. I took him in my hands and looked directly into his eyes.

"Iago, I want you to know that you'll always be loved in my eyes. You are such a unique person to me, and I'll really miss you. Please don't forget me."

Iago looked really touched.

"I won't forget you. I promise." I nodded and closed my eyes. Then I wished that Iago was in Agrabah again and that he was happy. I felt how Iago disappeared slowly from my hands and smiled.

"Good bye, Iago."

* * * * *

In the evening, I went sadly to bed. But I was also happy, because I knew that I had helped Iago to see and accept his true self. I had helped him to become truly happy.

April 2003