(Setting: the Skull and Dagger. The place is
packed with customers, and Abis Mal and Akbar are throwing daggers
at a dartboard. Abis hits the bullseye.)
Abis Mal: Haha! Beat that, if you can!
Akbar: Akbar beat!
(Akbar throws several knives, swords, and even an axe. They
all miss the board completely. He then glares at Abis Mal.)
Abis Mal: Uh, you win! Nice playing with you! (shakes
Akbar's hand and hurries away from him)
Akbar: (laughs) Akbar win!
(Abis Mal goes to sit down at a table hidden behind a curtain.
Haroud is already seated there.)
Abis Mal: I am so sick of hanging around this den of thieves!
When is this magic guy gonna get here?
Voice: I am here, and everywhere.
Abis Mal: What? Who said that?
(A green-skinned man appears in a puff of smoke.)
Green-skinned man: I did.
Abis Mal: Say! Nice entrance! Wasn't that nice, Haroud?
You know, I was just thinking it's so rare to see a really original
entrance nowadays. I remember, in the old days…
Haroud: Ahem! The business at hand, sir?
Abis Mal: Oh, right. Do you have it?
Green-skinned man: The Candle of Magma.
(The man sets a red candle with a face carved into it onto the
table. Abis Mal hands over a bag of gold coins. The man laughs disappears
in another puff of smoke, except for his eyes.)
Green-skinned man: A pleasure doing business with you. Let
me know if you need anything else, hmm? I have an excellent cure
for baldness. (the man's glowing eyes disappear as well)
Abis Mal: At last, Magma is mine to control! (laughs)
Baldness? I told you I need a bigger hat! This one doesn't cover
enough of my forehead!
(Aladdin, wearing a disguise with a hood, reaches through the
curtain toward the Candle of Magma. He's almost reached it when
there's a sound of falling coins. Everyone in the Skull and Dagger
turns to look, and sees Iago and Abu trying to steal a purse full
Iago: Heh heh heh! Whoops!
Akbar: Birdie and monkey steal from Akbar? (grabs them)
Abis Mal: I know those animals! They belong to… (scans
the crowd) Aladdin!
(Aladdin takes off his disguise.)
Abis Mal: See? See? Ten gold coins to the man who brings
me Aladdin! And I don't care how many pieces he's in!
(A bunch of thieves run after Aladdin, but he somersaults away
Akbar: Akbar crush!
(Aladdin jumps on Akbar's table, knocking it into his stomach.
He let's go of Abu and Iago, and Aladdin catches them. He then dodges
another thief's sword and several thrown daggers.)
Aladdin: (annoyed) Thanks a lot, guys.
Aladdin: Stop him!
(Aladdin jumps into a barrel full of fish and rolls towards
a group of thieves running towards him, knocking them down. They
roll out the door and into the street, where the barrel hits a wall
and breaks open.)
Aladdin: If you're finished playing smash-up derby, can
we leave now?
Abis Mal: (running outside and pointing at Aladdin)
There! Get 'im!
(Abis, Haroud, and the other thieves chase Aladdin down a side
street. Two baskets are dropped on Abis and Haroud from above; the
other thieves keep running. Aladdin has climbed up on a rooftop
and dropped the baskets down on them.)
Iago: Now is the time to make with the getaway!
Aladdin: Not until I find out what's so important about
that candle. (jumps down from the roof) Give me the candle!
Abis Mal: Oh, that little knickknack? It's for my mother!
Aladdin: (sighs) Hand it over, Abis Mal. Unless you'd
rather give it directly to the sultan's guards.
Abis Mal: No no no! Give it to him, Haroud!
Haroud: As you wish, sir. (blows a handful of dust into
Aladdin: What was that?
Abis Mal: Yeah! What was that?
Haroud: It was the Curse of Clumsiness.
Abis Mal: (laughs) Let's see you do that fancy jumping
around stuff now, streetrat! You'll be as clumsy as a… as a…
Haroud: An ox.
Abis Mal: I was going to say that!
Aladdin: Curse of Clumsiness? Yeah, right.
(Abu steals the Candle of Magma from Haroud and throws it to
Aladdin, who fumbles it.)
Haroud: You were saying?
(The group of thieves runs back towards them.)
Thief: There they are! Get them!
Aladdin: Uh, could have happened to anyone!
(Aladdin picks up the candle and starts to run away. He runs
up a pile of crates, but slips and falls into a barrel. The barrel
rolls past the thieves and breaks. Aladdin tries to detangle himself
from a rope that was inside the barrel as the thieves run towards
him. He tries to run away but slips on a fish, and when he falls
another fish gets stuck on his head.)
(The thieves jump on Aladdin and they start fighting. Meanwhile,
Haroud picks up the Candle of Magma, which has fallen on the ground.)
Haroud: Our business here is done, sir.
Abis Mal: (still stuck in the basket) Yes, yes! Excellent!
Uh, be a pal and help me out of this, huh?
(Haroud drags Abis away.)
Iago: (flying back toward Aladdin) Call for backup,
that's my policy.
(Carpet is right behind Iago, and Iago points down to where
Aladdin is still trying to fight off the thieves with a fish still
stuck on his head. Carpet flies down and picks him up.)
Aladdin: What… what's wrong with me?
Iago: (pulling the fish off Aladdin's head) You heard
the man! Curse of Clumsiness. I wouldn't wanna be you!
Aladdin: No, there's gotta be some cure! Genie'll know what
to do… I hope. (struggles to keep his balance on Carpet as
they fly away)
(Setting: Jafar's lab.)
Genie: Curse of Clumsiness?! Never heard of it.
Jasmine: It looks like Jafar had every magic book there
is. There must be something in them!
Aladdin: Heh, thanks Jasmine. You always know just what
(Jasmine walks away just as Aladdin leans over to kiss her,
and he falls to the floor, almost knocking over a table covered
Genie: Careful, Al! No telling what could happen if you
spilled one of these potions!
Iago: (carrying a book) Relax, guys! I found every
evil wizard's greatest reference book: The Joy of Curses.
If it isn't in here, it doesn't exist. (starts reading the book)
Let's see… aches and pains, acid stomach… boils! Ooh, that's
a good one!
(Aladdin is leaning on the table full of potions. He slips and
knocks it over, and the potions all go flying across the room, where
they combine to form a six-headed dragon.)
Genie: Ooh, what a mess! (vacuums up the dragon)
Gotta get these six-headed dragons right away or they'll leave a
Aladdin: Ugh, that's it! I've had enough! Genie, zap me!
Genie: What do you mean?
Aladdin: Cure me! Just use your powers to make me normal
Genie: Oh, Al, bad idea! Mixing magics is dangerous! The
last time I tried it on someone, (shudders) oh, I'm still
picking pieces of that guy outta my hair!
Aladdin: But Genie… (stumbles) Whoa! I can't go
on like this. We'll have to take that chance.
Genie: (nervous) Well, okay… Everybody duck! This
could get messy! (zaps Aladdin)
Aladdin: Hey, I feel normal! Genie, you did it!
Genie: Well, let's run a test before we break out the party
favors. (turns into a football player) Go long, Al!
(Genie throws a football to Aladdin, who catches it, then stumbles
backwards down a flight of stairs.)
Genie: Uh huh…
Iago: (still reading the book) Wait a minute! Look
Jasmine: Did you find the cure?
Iago: No, but I did find this. And if Abis Mal has
it we're in big trouble!
(We can now see a large illustration of the Candle of Magma
in the book.)
(Setting: Abis Mal's hideout.)
Abis Mal: So, where did you get the money to buy that Curse
of Clumsiness? Have you been dipping in the petty cash?
Haroud: There is no curse, sir! It was a ruse!
Abis Mal: A ruse? A ruse? Oh, a ruse. Yes, I thought
you said "shcluze". I was about to try a similar ruse
Haroud: Of course. But the matter at hand, sir?
Abis Mal: Uh, right, yes, the candle!
(They light the candle and place it on the floor. A crack opens
up in the floor, and a creature who looks very similar to the candle
except made of molten rock climbs out of it.)
Abis Mal: That's two really nice entrances in one day!
Magma: Who summons Magma, Lord of Volcanoes?
Abis Mal: Uh, that would be me. You, my igneous friend,
are going to make me a sultan!
Magma: (holds Abis over the crack in the ground, which
is filled with lava) You dare call Magma to this frigid land?!
Magma will return to warm inner Earth.
Abis Mal: (scared) Okay, sorry, see ya!
Haroud: He summoned you, ifrit! According to ifrit law you
must stay and do his bidding until you have fulfilled his request.
Magma: Then, thin one, tell Magma, how can he make a sultan
of this fat one?
Abis Mal: Not to worry. We've got it all worked out. (to
himself) Fat one?
(Setting: Sultan's toy room. Sultan is playing with his model
Sultan: (singing) Happy happy little Agrabanians,
all buying bread…
(A crack opens in the floor and Magma bursts out of it.)
Magma: Sultan! You will surrender your kingdom to Abis Mal.
Sultan: What?! Never!
(Magma throws a handful of lava at the model city, melting it.)
Magma: Then all of Agrabah will suffer the wrath of Magma!
(Setting: the Marketplace. Heat is rising out of the ground,
and people are having a hard time walking without burning their
feet. A tree catches on fire, and the water in wells is boiling
away. Omar the merchant is sitting on his fruit stand to keep his
feet off the hot sand.)
Omar: Heat that rises from the ground! It is the work of
(A cart next to him catches on fire, and the fire quickly spreads
to the fruit stand.)
Omar: We can't live this way much longer!
(Setting: the palace. Sultan, Jasmine, Genie, Carpet, and Iago
are entering a room.)
Sultan: Aladdin! You've got to do something, the c—
(The group sees that Aladdin is tangled up in some curtains
and is hanging upside down.)
Sultan: My dear boy, how did you ever get up there?
Aladdin: Uh, I tripped on a pillow?
Abu: Oh, brother!
Jasmine: Aladdin, Agrabah needs you!
Aladdin: I can't do anything, Jasmine. This clumsiness is
getting worse! I'm… I'm… (sigh) I'm all washed up.
Jasmine: Don't talk like that. Clumsy or not, you're the
best thing that's ever happened to me. I have faith in you.
Aladdin: Well, I'll do what I can. (untangles himself
from the curtain and falls to the floor) Ow!
(Genie appears in an elevator, dressed as an elevator operator.)
Genie: On your feet, Al! (pushes everyone but Sultan
into the elevator)
Aladdin: Hey, where're we going?
Genie: Well, the heat is coming from underground, so I figured
we'd go straight to the source!
Sultan: Oh my!
(The elevator drops quickly; everybody screams. It then stops
just as suddenly.)
Genie: Bottom floor, Earth's core, last one out's a saddle
(They look out of the elevator and see a hellish landscape of
fire and molten rock. Magma is directing the flames up toward the
surface and laughing, while Abis Mal and Haroud watch.)
Abis Mal: That's it, Magma! Make those Agrabanians sweat!
Iago: I think we're just a scootch out of our league!
(Aladdin and Jasmine try to sneak towards the bad guys, but
Aladdin trips on a stalagmite and falls at Abis Mal's feet.)
Abis Mal: (chuckles) Graceful as ever. Magma, take
care of this, uh…
Haroud: Street trash.
Abis Mal: I was going to say that!
Magma: The pleasure is all mine.
(Genie turns himself, Iago, and Abu into clowns, and they all
spray seltzer on Magma to distract him while Aladdin gets away.)
Genie: Send in the clowns!
(Aladdin does a flip towards Abis Mal and Haroud, but misses
them and falls screaming off a cliff and towards a river of magma.)
(Genie dives after Aladdin, while the bad guys advance on Jasmine.
Carpet tries to stand in their way, but Magma singes him.)
Abis Mal: I can't bring myself to destroy such beauty…
All right, I'm over it. Fry her, Magma!
(Magma is about to throw some molten rock at Jasmine, but Genie
rises back up out of the canyon, carrying Aladdin.)
Genie: Don't break out the skillet yet, boys! (hangs
Aladdin on a stalagmite by his vest) Nothing personal, Al. For
your own safety. Ours, too.
Aladdin: Genie! Let me down!
(Genie turns into a 1930's gangster with a tommy gun.)
Genie: I'm puttin' you three on ice!
(Genie shoots ice cubes out of his machine gun, completely covering
Abis Mal, Haroud, and Magma. Magma breaks through the ice, but all
three of them are still shivering.)
Magma: Ooh, such cold! But it is not that easy to be rid
(Genie turns into a construction worker driving a cement truck,
and pours cement over the three bad guys.)
Genie: A little rough, but they'll look nice in the park.
(Magma tunnels out of the concrete and grabs Jasmine.)
(Genie runs toward Magma, but Magma traps him with some slabs
of rock. Jasmine tries to get away, but Magma throws her to the
Magma: You have angered Magma. Now you will face his fury.
Aladdin: No! Jasmine!
(Magma is about to drip molten lava onto Jasmine, but Aladdin
manages to free himself from the stalagmite, slides on a piece of
the melting ice, picks up a piece of rock and slides over to Magma,
blocking the hole at the top of his head where the lava was coming
out. While Magma is writhing in pain, Aladdin turns around, slides
over to Jasmine, and carries her to safety. Just as Magma manages
to get the rock out of his head, Aladdin and Jasmine slide off the
cliff and land on Carpet.)
Aladdin: Let's go!
(Genie finally manages to drill his way out of his stone prison,
then drills a hole in the ceiling of the cave so they can escape.
Everyone else follows him on Carpet.)
Abis Mal: They're escaping! (to Magma) I leave you
in charge for one minute…!
Magma: Hold your tongue, fat one. Do not tempt me to violate
ifrit law by destroying you.
Abis Mal: Me, tempt? I would never… tempt. There will
be no tempting! I'm a tempt-free zone over here.
Magma: This Aladdin has made a fool of Magma! And Magma
shall have his revenge!
(Magma creates a pillar of fire underneath the ground the three
are standing on, lifting it up into the air and through the tunnel
(Genie continues tunneling until he reaches the surface, and
they emerge in the Marketplace. The bad guys arrive just after they
fly away, and everyone in the Marketplace runs away.)
Magma: They're gone.
Abis Mal: Blast those… uh, hmm…
Haroud: Meddling pests.
Abis Mal: I was going to say that! They could be anywhere!
(Aladdin and the others are at the top of a minaret, looking
down at the bad guys.)
Aladdin: Jasmine, when I saw Magma threatening you…
Jasmine: You broke the curse!
Aladdin: Hey, you're right!
Iago: Has it occurred to anyone else that maybe there never
was a curse?
Genie: Of course! It was all in your head! You thought there
was a curse, so you thought you were clumsy! You just lost your
Aladdin: And now that I've got it back, watch out, Abis
(Abis Mal, Haroud, and Magma are walking through the empty Marketplace.)
Magma: (shivering) The surface is cold. Magma will
freeze before he can find Aladdin!
Haroud: Then let's not find him.
Abis Mal: Are you a quitter, Haroud? You know what I say
about quitters! Okay, what do I say about quitters?
Haroud: I simply meant, sir, that we make Aladdin come to
Abis Mal: (sarcastic) Oh, that's good. I suppose
we just stroll into the palace and invite him to grovel at my feet!
(Setting: the Marketplace, a short while later. Abis Mal is
giving a speech to a crowd. Aladdin and his friends are still in
the minaret, watching him.)
Abis Mal: Citizens of Agrabah! I have sent my advisor to
the sultan with an ultimatum. I demand to be given the throne and
to have Aladdin delivered into my hands immediately or I will burn
Agrabah to a cinder. (to Magma) Give 'em a preview!
Magma: It will be most welcome. (shoots lava at a building,
setting it on fire)
Aladdin: We've gotta stop them! Okay, here's the plan…
(Aladdin and his friends appear next to Abis Mal in a cloud
Abis Mal: How about that, huh? Start groveling whenever
Genie: (waving his hands) Abba zabba zoo, flippy
flappy flu! (zaps Abis Mal and Magma) You have been cursed
with a flu spell! You will now feel all sniffly and gross!
Abis Mal: (sniffing) Uh oh! (feels his forehead)
Magma: (suspicious) Where did you learn this curse?
Genie: Uh, "Better Homes and Curses". Bet you're
all achy by now!
Magma: I am not sick. You are a liar, genie! There is no
Abis Mal: (blowing his nose) No one gives Mama Mal's
little boy the sniffles and gets away with it! Toast 'em, Magma!
Magma: As you wish. (surrounds Aladdin and his friends
with a ring of fire)
Jasmine: We're trapped!
(Carpet flies them away just before the ring fills up with lava.
Magma then starts throwing balls of lava at them; one grazes Carpet,
setting him on fire.)
(Carpet falls out of the sky, and they all land back in the
Genie: (as one of the brooms from Fantasia) Sweep
that problem under the rug, my tasseled chum! (throws a bucket
of water on Carpet, extinguishing him)
(Magma creates a ring of fire around the minaret, causing it
to topple over. Everyone lands safely on the ground, except Aladdin,
who is dangling from a piece of fallen masonry over a well.)
Iago: Oh, my vertebrae!
(Aladdin climbs up and stands on the piece of stone. Meanwhile,
Magma digs himself out of a pile of fallen rocks, then walks out
onto the stone with Aladdin, over the well.)
Magma: Soon you will be at peace, Aladdin.
(Aladdin notices the stone beneath Magma's feet is starting
Magma: Magma's vengeance has come, and now you meet your
Aladdin: Not quite.
(Aladdin jumps off of the stone, which crumbles beneath Magma,
sending him falling into the well. A burst of steam comes out of
(Genie bolts a sheet of metal over the opening of the well.
Pressure builds up inside it.)
Genie: Uh, I'd stand back if I were you!
(The metal lid on the well pops off, and Magma is hurtled, screaming,
towards the sun.)
Genie: (as a scientist) Well, according to my figures,
he'll hit the sun smack dab in the middle. I just love happy endings!
He'll finally be somewhere warm enough!
Aladdin: Hey, where's Abis Mal?
Genie: Don't worry, Al. I think he's got problems of his
(Setting: Abis Mal's hideout. Abis Mal is covered in a blanket,
has his feet soaking in hot water, and is sneezing. Haroud brings
him a bowl of soup.)
Abis Mal: Darn that Genie and his flu curse!
Haroud: How many times do I have to tell you, sir? There
is no curse! It was another ruse! Remember the Curse of Clumsiness?
Abis Mal: Oh yeah? Then how come I'm all sniffly, huh, smart
Haroud: Because you are a complete i… i… (struggling
to speak because he is so angry)
Abis Mal: Idiot?
Haroud: (smug) I was going to say that. (walks
Abis Mal: How dare you! (hops after him in his tub of
water) Haroud! Haroud! Come back here! (trips and falls)
Oh, that's gonna leave a mark for sure. Achoo!