outside the city gates. Two guards are jumping up and down, making
huge holes in the ground.)
Guard 1: Ha! You couldn't even uproot a tree! Watch me!
(jumps high into the air; the force of his landing knocks the
other guard off his feet)
(A non-Odiferan peddler drives his wagon up to the gates.)
Peddler: Excuse me, gentlemen!
Guard 2: Gentlemen?
Guard 1: No gentlemen here. We are Odiferans!
Peddler: Excellent! Then you are sure to be tempted by my
rare treats and delicacies!
(The first guard starts rummaging through the cart.)
Peddler: (holding out two sticks of peppermint) Tasty
minty sweets! Your breath will be an oasis of freshness!
Guard 2: Got any cheese?
Guard 1: He must have cheese in there somewhere!
Peddler: Exotic speckled eggs! Plucked at great risk from
a nest at the summit of Inferno Mountain! (holds out a basket
of green eggs with purple spots) Makes a man-sized omelet!
Guard 2: Ha, with cheese!
Peddler: Eh, no. But lookie here—
Guard 2: So you have no cheese?
(The peddler shakes his head no.)
Guards: (together) He has no cheese!
Peddler: But, good sir!
(The second guard picks up the peddler's horse, puts it in the
cart, then kicks the cart so hard that it rolls backwards down the
road past the horizon.)
Guard 2: No cheese!
Guard 1: And they call us barbarians!
(The guards start jumping up and down again. One of the peddler's
speckled eggs is on the ground next to them. As the guards jump,
the force of their landings crack the egg.)
(Setting: Odiferus, Uncouthma's palace.)
Uncouthma: Welcome back to Odiferus! (lifts Aladdin up
into the air) Oh, my flimsy friend Aladdin, it has been too
(Genie, Iago, Abu, Carpet, and Uncouthma's wife Brawnhilda
are all watching.)
Genie: Here it comes…
Aladdin: Hi, Uncouthma!
(Uncouthma hugs Aladdin. We can hear a crunching sound and Aladdin
Brawnhilda: Tiny one! My heart muscle soars!
Aladdin: Oh no…
(Brawnhilda hugs him as well.)
Aladdin: Uh, it's good to be back, Brawnhilda.
Uncouthma: Oh, just in time for the semi-annual Odiferus
Brawnhilda: A celebration of sour yak milk in its most delicious
Aladdin: That was your big surprise?
Brawnhilda: Oh, no. This is!
Uncouthma: Presenting Uncouthma Limzola Stenchworth, Jr.,
Aladdin: Your son?
(A little redheaded boy kicks down the palace doors.)
Uncouthma Jr.: Pop! 'Laddin here?
Iago: Their son.
Genie: Aw! You're cute, Junior!
(The boy picks Genie up, crushes him into a tiny ball, and throws
him across the room, where he lands in a cheese.)
Brawnhilda: Oh, he hates being called Junior. We call him
Genie: You couldn't have mentioned that earlier?
Bud: 'Laddin! (hugs Aladdin)
Aladdin: (wincing in pain) Hi, Bud.
Iago: Oh, if they introduce any more relatives Al's spine
is a goner.
Uncouthma: (picking up Genie) Come, blue one! To
(Setting: the fairgrounds. Uncouthma is playing a "ring
the bell" game: he hits a mallet to one end of a plank of wood,
and a large round blue cheese on the other end of the plank shoots
up into the air, ringing the bell.)
Uncouthma: Who's next for this moldy-but-goodie? Feeble
friend Aladdin, care to bang the bell?
Aladdin: Uh, I don't know…
Iago: Maybe the kid should challenge them to a spelling
(Aladdin sees Bud watching him admiringly, then goes over to
the mallet rack and chooses the largest mallet, which is as large
as he is.)
Aladdin: We'll see who's feeble!
(Abu runs up to Aladdin and tries to hand him a tiny mallet.)
Abu: Ta da!
Aladdin: No thanks, Abu. This is more my speed.
(Aladdin tries to pick up the mallet, but can't lift it. He
drags it over toward the game.)
Genie: (who has taken the place of the blue cheese in
the game, whispering) Just tap it, Al. I'll do the rest! (winks)
(Genie zaps the mallet, making it lighter. Aladdin picks it
up, still thinking it's heavy, and falls over backwards.)
Bud: Hmm, never saw a hero do that before.
(General Gouda picks up the
Gouda: A true hero smashes and bashes! Like so! (hits
the game hard with the mallet, sending Genie flying high into the
Bud: (scowling) 'Laddin bad basher!
(Setting: the Odiferan city gates. The two guards from earlier
each have a plate of cheese and are taking turns punching the ground
as hard as they can.)
Guard 2: Say I'm the better basher!
Guard 1: That hardly shook my spleen! Try this!
(The tremors have finally broken open the speckled egg, and
a purple and green lizard comes out of it. It smells the guards'
cheese, then runs over and starts eating it.)
Guard 2: (picking up the lizard) Leave my snack alone,
little scaly thing!
(The lizard breathes in the guard's face. He falls over, unconscious.)
Guard 1: What?
(The lizard breathes on the other guard, who also falls over.
As the lizard scampers under the gate and into the city, we can
see the guards' faces have turned green with purple spots.)
(Setting: the fairgrounds. Many Odiferans are crowded around
long tables, stuffing their faces with cheese.)
Man: General Gouda, is not our feast well curdled?
Gouda: Odum, you know your cheese!
(Genie and Aladdin are looking for a place to sit.)
Genie: Oh, there's more room inside my lamp than in here!
Aladdin: Maybe the other guys were right about skipping
Genie: (creates a crowbar and tries to pry a space between
two Odiferans) Yeah, ordering a pizza is looking real good about
now. (can't move the Odiferans, and is catapulted across the
tent, where he lands in a pile of cheese)
(A passing Odiferan knocks Aladdin to the floor. Brawnhilda
picks him up.)
Brawnhilda: Let me find a place for you! You'll be safe
from bruises here at the kiddie table. (sets Aladdin down at
a table next to Bud)
Aladdin: Huh, thanks.
Bud: 'Laddin sits with me!
(The lizard, smelling the cheese, enters the tent.)
Bud: Can 'Laddin do this? (bends a fork)
Aladdin: Strongest is not always best, Bud.
(Uncouthma and Gouda hear this, and are so shocked they drop
the cheese they're eating.)
Genie: (holding a particularly stinky cheese) How
true. (slingshots the cheese away; it lands under a table where
the lizard eats it)
Gouda: Do not fill this boy's head muscle with such flimsy
Uncouthma: (to Bud) Do not forget, Aladdin once saved
your pop's life.
Bud: Thanks, hero 'Laddin! (tries to give Aladdin a high
five and knocks him to the ground)
(Under the table, Aladdin sees the lizard. Seeing him, it runs
away. Genie then appears in front of Aladdin.)
Genie: Ooh, are you okay?
Aladdin: Did you see—
Gouda: (picking Aladdin up) Aw, did the toddler hurt
our dainty little legend? (laughs)
Aladdin: There was some kind of animal or something down
Genie: Well! Your true feelings have come out!
Aladdin: Not you, Genie. Some little thing scampered—
Gouda: Oh, don't be afraid of tiny scampering things. We'll
protect you, hero! (laughs and walks away)
Bud: Pop, are you sure this is the 'Laddin?
Uncouthma: Make no mistake, this is Aladdin! (slaps Aladdin,
knocking him to the ground)
Aladdin: Yeah, Bud. I'm me.
Odum: That little Aladdin is flimsy but funny! Bud nearly
broke him in two! (laughs, then sees the lizard eating his cheese)
(Odum raises his fist to smash the lizard, but it breathes on
him, knocking him out. It then scampers away.)
Aladdin: What's wrong with him?
Genie: (wearing a stethoscope) In my professional
opinion, I'd say he's out like a light.
Uncouthma: Ah, do not worry about Odum, his heart muscle
is strong. He's just a party animal!
Aladdin: But look at his face! That's not normal!
Gouda: Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk! How typical of
a flimsy fellow!
Aladdin: All I'm saying is—
Bud: Very typical! Very flimsy! (walks away)
Aladdin: I'm not that flimsy!
Genie: True, you're just not a barbarian! Your hygiene alone
is far better.
Aladdin: I'm gonna prove myself to Bud.
(Setting: a boxing ring, in another part of the fairgrounds.
Genie and Aladdin, who is not wearing a shirt, are inside the ring,
and several Odiferans, including Uncouthma, Bud, and Gouda are seated
around the ring.)
Genie: (rubbing Aladdin's shoulders) So you think
Bud will like you more if you're pulverized into a liquid state.
Aladdin: See, Genie? Now even you think i'm flimsy!
Genie: Well, yeah, compared to a guy named Humongor!
(A huge muscular Odiferan is now also in the ring, shouting
at the top of his lungs and flexing while the spectators cheer.)
Bud: Humongor can bash like no other!
Uncouthma: Ah, but he faces Aladdin!
Iago: (landing on Uncouthma's shoulder) Ya think
the kid stands a chance?
Uncouthma: Of course, he is Aladdin!
Iago: Care to place a friendly wager on the bout?
Uncouthma: Aladdin will win!
Iago: (to himself) Oo, what a sucker!
(Humongor tries to hit Aladdin, who dodges. Aladdin grabs Humongor's
arm, but is lifted into the air. He punches at Humongor's arm, while
the larger man looks annoyed, but unhurt.)
Uncouthma: Canny move, frail hero!
Gouda: Crush the flimsy coward!
(Humongor yawns as Aladdin keeps punching his arm. The crowd
laughs. Humongor finally tries to hit Aladdin, but he does a somersault
off his arm and runs to the other side of the ring.)
Bud: Go bash the frail one, Humongor!
(Humongor tries to pick up Aladdin, who is clinging to the rope
surrounding the ring.)
Genie: Al won't approve right now, but he'll thank me in
the morning… if he's still alive! (turns into a bell and rings)
That's it for round one, fight fans!
(Humongor lets go of Aladdin, slingshot-ing him out of the ring,
where he knocks over the bench Uncouthma, Bud, and Gouda are sitting
on. Gouda tosses him back into the ring.)
Iago: Surrender, kid. You'll come out alive and I'll come
Aladdin: I don't want the Odiferans to think I'm a coward!
Iago: It's too late for that! Yet not too late to see a
Genie: Al, it's time to—
Gouda: (ringing the bell) Fight!
(Humongor stomps on the other end of the plank Aladdin is standing
on, knocking him up into the air. When he lands, he sees the purple
and green lizard in the ring with them.)
Aladdin: Huh? Hey, it's that thing! Some kind of lizard!
(Humongor runs over and puts Aladdin in a headlock. The lizard
breathes on Humongor's face. Humongor then lifts Aladdin up over
Gouda: The frail one is lost!
Bud: End it, Humongor! End it!
Genie: The bell can't save him now!
Abu: Uh oh!
(Humongor coughs, his face turns green with purple spots, and
he passes out.)
Genie: I knew the kid could do it!
Gouda: It cannot be!
Uncouthma: Aladdin wins!
(Iago tears out his feathers in frustration.)
(Uncouthma starts to hand Aladdin a trophy made of cheese, but
notices the lizard inside of it, chewing on it.)
Uncouthma: Don't eat my frail friend's trophy!
(The lizard breathes on Uncouthma, who passes out. It then runs
Aladdin: Uncouthma! That's what I saw before!
(Setting: the Odiferan palace.)
Brawnhilda: First I will care for my mighty man… then
I will smash that lizard thing! This is personal!
Gouda: Fear not, Princess Brawnhilda. I will smash the lizard
Bud: And I will help you smash the thing!
Aladdin: You can't just smash it. You don't even know what
it is! We've gotta find that creature and—
Gouda: And smash it!
Bud: Maybe you are afraid, little half-hero, but we will
smash the lizard thing that hurt my pop!
Aladdin: There's more here than just some little lizard
Iago: Don't tell me: it's up to us to figure out what it
Genie: Al, the Odiferans don't even know what that thing
is, and they live here!
Aladdin: Then maybe it's not from around here. Come on!
(Setting: the city gates. Aladdin and his friends find the two
Aladdin: Just like the others!
Abu: Hey! (points at something)
Aladdin: Yeah, I see 'em, Abu. Wheel tracks.
Iago: Yeah, right, monkey. Like the lizard was cruising
around in a late model cart.
Aladdin: It's worth a try. Come on, Carpet.
(They follow the tracks on Carpet.)
Aladdin: Down there!
(They see the peddler's cart, which is overturned, and land
next to it. Abu sees the peppermint sticks spilled next to the cart
and picks one up.)
Genie: (dressed as a policeman, takes the peppermint
away from Abu) Don't tamper with the evidence, rookie! (smells
the peppermint) Mmm, minty! Ahem! We'll just take this back
to the crime lab!
(Carpet reaches underneath the cart and starts to pull something
Aladdin: Carpet? What is it?
(They pull the peddler out from under the cart; he's unconscious,
and his face is green and purple.)
Genie: (holding pieces of eggshell) Look at this!
Be my guest. (turns his head into a microscope)
Aladdin: (looking through the microscope and the green
and purple eggshells) It's the same color as the victims' faces!
Genie: So the lizard hatched from that egg!
Iago: Oh, fellows? What's worse than a lizard with killer
breath? (points to several other hatched eggs) Try half a
dozen of those little stinkbombs!
Genie: Yeauch! The town must be crawling with the creepy
critters! Lock the doors! Batten the hatches!
Iago: Why? They oughta fit right in with the fine citizens
Aladdin: That's it! Every time I saw that lizard it was
Genie: So, those little purple lizards and the stinky Odiferan
cheese… it's a dangerous combination! Like… cookies and milk!
Aladdin, Iago, and Abu: What?
Genie: Oh, dangerous to the waistline.
Aladdin: (lifting the peddler onto Carpet) We've
gotta tell General Gouda!
Iago: That'll require single syllable words. Even then,
(Setting: Outside a building in Odiferus. Aladdin and his friends
have just arrived back.)
Gouda: (from inside) Smash! (grunting sounds)
Genie: Looks like Gouda's taking the subtle approach to
(The building's doors fall off their hinges, and we can see
Gouda and Bud inside, hitting the floor with clubs.)
Bud: Smash and bash!
(The beams holding up the building begin to fall down. Part
of the ceiling collapses onto the two Odiferans.)
Aladdin: We gotta dig them out! (starts moving the fallen
Iago: It was the way they would have wanted to go: violently!
(Gouda emerges from the pile of rubble, holding a lifeless-looking
lizard by its tail.)
Gouda: We have smashed the enemy! Let us celebrate.
Aladdin: But General Gouda, you've destroyed an entire building
to stop one lizard.
Gouda: Impressive, mm?
Bud: We smashed tiny thing!
Aladdin: General Gouda, there's more than one of those lizards.
Gouda: Then we'll smash them all!
Bud: Ooh! More smash and bash!
Genie: Try again, Al.
Iago: Remedial Reasoning 101.
Aladdin: General, the problem isn't just the lizards. It's
your cheese! You've got to shut down the Cheese Festival.
Bud: 'Laddin not like cheese, Bud not like 'Laddin! Bud
like General Gouda!
General: Because I am a huge and hearty hero!
(The lizard Gouda is holding wakes up and breathes in his face,
knocking him out. Then several other lizards crawl out of the rubble
and surround them.)
Iago: Hey, here's an idea: retreat!
(Setting: later, at the Odiferan palace. Aladdin and his friends
and Bud are carrying the unconscious General Gouda inside.)
Iago: Fellas, there's no shame in running away. In fact,
let's keep running!
Aladdin: (sarcastic) Yeah, thanks Iago. Your moral
support is just what we need.
(Brawnhilda is looking after Uncouthma and Odum. Iago flies
over to her.)
Iago: All right, where do you want sleeping doofus?
Brawnhilda: General Gouda, too?
Iago: Yeah, you're down one prince and a general. Now
who's the big oaf on campus?
(Aladdin and his friends look shocked.)
Brawnhilda: It is Odiferan law. With my beloved prince unable
to rule and the trusty general unable to command, my son is in charge!
I will care for the fallen. My boyish Bud will lead you to victory!
Bud: I say we smash!
Aladdin: Uh, would you give us a minute, Princess?
Genie: This stomp thing won't work against those creatures.
Aladdin: And it sure won't wake up the Odiferans.
Iago: Not that there's much difference between a conscious
Odiferan and an unconscious one. (sees Abu scowling at him)
Hey, don't get me wrong! I love those big lugs like brothers.
Bud: (chanting) Ready to smash! Ready to stomp! Ready
to smash! Ready to stomp!
Iago: Thinking is not high on their to-do list.
Genie: Bird's got a point. Smashing and bashing is
how they solve a problem.
Aladdin: And thinking is how I solve a problem.
You're right, Bud! We've gotta stomp those lizards!
Iago: That's it! His brain has curdled!
Abu: Uh huh.
Aladdin: Now wouldn't it be easier to protect the cheese
if it were all in one spot?
Bud: Uh, yes.
Aladdin: And it might be easier to stomp the lizards if
they were in one spot, too?
Bud: Hmm… so we stomp them in one spot!
Aladdin: Not exactly. But you could put all the cheese into
Aladdin: That would lure all the lizards into one spot.
Bud: We stomp! Time to get the cheese! (runs off)
Iago: Like it was his idea. Junior's a natural born politician.
Aladdin: But how do we deal with bad breath?
Genie: (offering Aladdin the peppermint stick he picked
up earlier) Breath mint?
Aladdin: (chuckles) Not for me, Genie. I'm talking
about the lizards. (takes the mint) Why not?
Genie: Beats trying to get 'em to brush and floss.
(Setting: on the streets of Odiferus, that evening. Carpet is
carrying a load of cheese, and Aladdin is running alongside him.
Aladdin grabs pieces of cheese and throws them on the ground behind
them, making a trail of cheese. The lizards follow them and tries
to breathe on them, but Aladdin runs away.)
(In another part of town, Bud has piled up all the cheese in
town. Aladdin's friends are with him.)
Bud: (rolling a huge cheese wheel onto the pile) Here
it is, friends of the flimsy one! The last of the cheese!
Iago: (smelling the cheese) Oh! Even a celebrity
couldn't sell that scent!
(Genie turns into the three witches from MacBeth, who are all
holding peppermint sticks and stirring a cauldron.)
Genie: Double double, toil and trouble, cauldron burn and
(Aladdin is still making a trail of cheese leading toward the
pile. The lizards are gaining on him.)
Aladdin: Come on, Carpet, get us out of here! (jumps
on Carpet and they fly away from the lizards)
Genie: (throwing peppermint into the cauldron) Double
double, toil and trouble, cauldron burn and cauldron bubble!
(Genie turns into a painter, dips a paintbrush into the cauldron,
then paints a layer of peppermint over the entire pile of cheese.
Some gets splashed on Iago and Abu.)
Iago: Watch it!
(Aladdin and Carpet reach the others, followed by all the lizards.
The lizards start crawling all over the pile of cheese.)
Bud: Time to stomp?
Aladdin: Not yet.
(The lizards start eating the peppermint-covered cheese.)
Iago: I don't know what sickens me more: mint flavored yak
cheese or the fact that they're actually eating it!
Genie: Oh, I hope this works, Al. Al?
(Aladdin is climbing the pile of cheese, toward one of the lizards.)
Aladdin: Only one way to find out.
Bud: 'Laddin faces scary lizard thing alone!
Iago: Yeah, he does that sort of thing.
Aladdin: (behind the lizard) Boo!
(The lizard breathes on Aladdin, but nothing happens.)
Aladdin: We did it!
Genie: Whew! The lizards are harmless now.
Bud: That means no stomp! I want to stomp!
Iago: Uh, let me know when this feeling passes.
(Setting: the Odiferan palace. Aladdin holds a lizard up to
Uncouthma's face. It breathes on him, and he wakes up.)
Uncouthma: Cheese, please, I'm starving!
(Bud wakes up General Gouda, while Genie wakes up the peddler,
who screams when he sees the lizard.)
Genie: Aw, the little guy's okay. I think he likes you.
(Genie lets the lizard go, and it curls up on top of the peddler's
Uncouthma: I always knew the flimsy Aladdin was a hero!
Gouda: Never could one so frail defeat such a dangerous
Bud: I saw it! 'Laddin taught me: you can't always stomp!
(Gouda grunts dismissively.)
Bud: Sometimes you have to think.
Uncouthma: You have taught my son well. (hugs Aladdin)
Aladdin: Thanks, Uncouthma.
Uncouthma: This thinking, it will take time for it to catch
on, but I like it!